On Honesty

I read somewhere, one of these last few days, something (haha, real specific) about honesty and friends. Not honesty as the opposite of lying, but more like telling it like it is - giving them your honest opinion, even if it's harsh. He said something like, he only surrounds himself with completely honest people. I sooo want to be 100% (okay, 92%) honest with some of my friends lately. Everyone is having a really rough time. We're over a year into this economic bullshit, stuck in the dead of winter and all feeling generally tired. Tired of everything. Then, there is me. Despite a unemployment situation in our house and trying to kick an addiction to alcohol, I am the happiest I have ever been. I attribute this to a clear head, a positive attitude and the ability to put everything into perspective. I want to share this, but these negative nellies need an oversized dose of reality first. Reality and honesty in the form of Wake  the hell up! ___ is where you need to start fixing ___. 

How honest are you with your friends?

P.S Thank you to my pals who shared a little bit about themselves this weekend!

Getting to know me

With new readers, I thought it would be lovely to share a little bit more about myself...besides my knack for getting inappropriately drunk. Like I said the other day, I really only wrote for people that know me in IRL or, are at least my Facebook friends. Here are some things you should know.

I was born in Brooklyn, NY and raised on Long Island.

2010 marks my 28th year on planet earth.

My husband and I were married in June 2008 and we live in southern New Jersey - which, unlike the rest of NJ that identifies with NY, is considered the suburbs of Philadelphia. We're literally 5 miles from the city of cheesesteaks.

We have a dog named JJ and we consider him our son.

Jim and I want nothing more than to be parents of a human baby, but a shitty economy screwed that up...for now.

I have a degree in English and Women & Gender Studies from Rutgers University. I loved college with all my heart.

I worked in the luggage/travel/handbag industry as a customer service rep and then a buyer until August. I was laid off. I've done freelance writing at night and on the weekends for about a year ...fortunately, I was able to turn it into an almost full line of work pretty much immediately.

I treat myself to a manicure every two weeks. I like my nails short and my go to colors are Essie Sugar Daddy for light and OPI We'll Always Have Paris for dark. OPI Red for red!

My husband won the lottery when he was 20. Nothing crazy major, but he brings in more money than the avg. american does - each and every year - for life. This is why, even though he is unemployed and I am just starting out, we still manage to stay afloat. No matter what, our mortgage will always be paid and then some. The rest is up to us.

I love style. I have loved it for as long as I can remember. If you have a 3 year old that changes their outfit several times a day, if nothing else, you'll have a really well dressed child.

I can say the alphabet backwards. Really fast.

Jeopardy! is my all-time favorite show. I do not enjoy the kids and teen tournaments. College is okay. I absolutely hate Wheel of Fortune and especially Pat Sajak. If you pay attention, he's a real jerk!

I always, always question authority. Jim says that I live by the Book of Brooke. I make my own rules and I make them up as I go - so they fit neatly where I need them to be.

Capital letters are overrated. Not sure why I'm using them here.

I'm a spiller and a total klutz. I spill, trip and bang into things several times daily. Lately, when thinking about pregnancy and rearing a child, this worries me. What if I fall down the steps at 9 months pregnant? What if I drop my baby or spill coffee on him/her?

Well, I think I have shared enough. Enough so that if you wanted to hunt me down and kill me, you probably could. Especially if you're like Dexter. I'll finish with a silly photo of my family:

After a lengthy, ongoing inveestigation into where all my gloves went, they turned up, along with these cat ears. It felt right to wear them in honor of our snow day. What snow day you ask -if you aren't in the area? This one:

He didn't want to come inside. 

Now that I let all of that out, what do you want to share about yourself?? 

Blue Friday

Never in my life did I imagine that Fridays would be more difficult than Mondays. The luster of eye makeup, fancy shoes and dining out dulls when I know that they won't be accompanied by a cocktail of my choice. Staying in has been the most effective method for dealing with sobriety. If I can just get through these dreary winter months, I have to believe that it'll all get easier by the time the season changes over.  Then again, I'm only supposed to be thinking about today

Wow

I have used that word (in typing) way too many times today. I am really wowed by all of the new visitors, comments and supporters. While it may seem like I write for an audience, I really just write for her, her, her and her...as they were the only people who read me until recently! It's such a wonderful treat to refresh my email and see comments from new visitors. I swear that I am a better writer (in terms of cleanliness of verse) elsewhere. Now I feel like I really need to tighten up over here! I have always used this space as sort of stream of consciousness writing exercise. If I start a post and abandon it, I never go back to it. While sitting on a piece and returning to work on it later is something I do in my professional writing, I really can't do that when it comes to my emotions. Well, this is turning out to be more than I have the energy for right now. I wanted just to say:

Thank you!


more on my progress tomorrow...

To Thine Own Self Be True

I know that Shakespeare quote is so overused, it's ridiculous. I can defend my love for it by saying that I have tried my best to actually live it since the very moment I heard it many moons ago. It sure is tough. Especially when you're a bad ass like me....haha.

This is just a little follow up to this post about AA. I made the decision on Monday not to go to AA...ever.

I have lost so much of myself over the course the past 3 months. Brooke drinks. Brooke goes to parties. Brooke loves craft beer, breweries and BYOB restaurants. Brooke likes to sit at the bar to dine. Brooke considers a night with a glass of red and her laptop a really good night. Yes, Brooke has discovered she has a drinking problem. {ok, i am done with the third person} I am an alcoholic, and thus far, I have not seen any proof that this will ever change. I know that for now I have to "lose" that part of myself. Cool off. Discover the joy in life without alcohol. However, going to meetings, joining a group, discussing a higher power? No way Jose. This is not me. That is not Brooke. I generally don't like people. I believe in the depths of my heart that the average person is an asshole and I like that about myself. So why in the world would I join anything? Become a member of a group? I wouldn't and I'm not. That would be losing even more of myself, compromising my beliefs even further, and probably turn me into a complete weirdo.

I have read a lot about AA and I do believe that it works and it does wonderful things for some people. I don't even doubt the fact that I would get something out of it. I just don't do people, groups, face to face discussion. I don't do causes and I most certainly do not do organized religion or higher power.

So, that is that. No way AA.