A Necklace for Lemon
20 Jul
This post was written for inclusion in the Pregnancy Loss Week Blog Carnival. Please join us at Fertility Flower for the week of August 23-27, 2010 where we will be featuring articles, posts and artwork about pregnancy loss.
What actions did you take to memorialize the lost child/children?
We nicknamed our first baby “Lemon” before we even knew we were pregnant. I wrote Lemon, come to us! on the chalkboard wall in our kitchen. Jim drew a lemon and added eyes and a mouth. We were absolutely ecstatic to find out that Lemon did indeed come to us that month. I discovered we were pregnant on April 24, 2010. As soon as I saw that blue cross appear, I started laughing out loud. I was giddy with joy. As for later on, the truth is, I spent much of my pregnancy totally worried that something would go wrong. At 11 weeks, 1 day, we found out that something had gone terribly wrong for Lemon. He or she just wasn’t prepared for this journey with us.
We allowed ourselves two days to grieve and all in all, recovered from the loss rather quickly. We knew that in order to move on and start trying to conceive again, we would have to adopt a postive outlook and regain hope that we would become parents soon. Though I knew this did not mean that I wouldn’t think about the life we created every day. Moving on and forgetting are not one in the same.
I searched Etsy for something special to commemorate our first baby. I chose a delicate little necklace with a yellow, lemon-shaped crystal. I fell in love with the lemon necklace because it’s such a simple piece – that for me – carries significant meaning. Its top comes to a point and I often find myself shoving my finger down onto it. This hurts for a moment and it sort of pulls me up out of any momentary slump I’m in; mostly because it reminds me of the real pain felt when I looked at an ultrasound screen on June 15th and read “heartrate __”
For a short time, our hearts beat together in the same body. That honor was taken away from me all too quickly. Now this lemon sits just inches away from my heart and helps comfort the aches caused by the longing for an opportunity to nurture a life once again.
Goosebumps and tears.
Yesterday, my mother-in-law bought a crape myrtle tree for her yard to commemorate baby Amelia.
Your necklace is pretty and what it stands for is beautiful.
Love.
Thanks Stephanie. Just did a search on crape myrtle trees. They are beautiful.
Your necklace is absolutely beautiful, and such a wonderful way to keep your “lemon” close to your heart.
So beautiful and touching…
“For a short time, our hearts beat together in the same body.” ~ that is so beautiful, Brooke.
It’s lovely, just perfect really!
Oh Brooke, what a wonderful, touching post. I love it. You took a tack similar to what my husband and I did. As my pregnancy was chugging along, there was a website that would tell me what size the baby was (roughly) in terms of food. So…poppy seed…grape….etc.
Our first made it to kumquat stage and so we bought a kumquat tree.
I love your story. Many thanks for sharing it.
Thank you all for your kind words. Working on this felt really, really good. Perhaps because it was for a part of something bigger than just my little blog.
That’s beautiful Kimberly. Thank YOU for creating the blog carnival.
Love this.
The necklace (and your description of what it stands for) is beautiful.