Solitary in Sanity

I know I have said it before, but Brittany is awesome. She has a whole page dedicated to wonderful birth references. I don’t know why I haven’t posted this before.

This list, titled 15 Myths of Childbirth, is particularly good without being all IN YOUR FACE earth mama : )

I kind of want to tattoo these myths all over my body for the world to see. If I hear one more story about one more woman going “past her due date,” being persuaded to induce labor, not being able to fit her baby through her pelvis or something equally ridiculous, I might have a heart attack.

And while part of me knows I need to back off and worry about myself, I can’t.

I bookmark so many posts from my Ladies in the House folder on Google Reader. Yes, if you’re a lady and you keep a personal blog that I follow, you’re in that awesomely named folder. I do so in the hopes of coming back to them later and creating a post in response. This rarely happens. So rather than let them sit there and get stale, I thought I would just link to them here.

Moosh in Indy, On Internet Friends

Seeking Elevation presents a hilarious meme/survey

Erin at Blogging is for Dorks talks milky boobies ( love me some milky boob talk and i already hit her up for advice on leaky nipples)

Rachel’s post about Owning It over at Blog Her

My dear Jane at Northfinchley scribbles about her late husband’s issues with drinking

a little late.

it was a beautiful day…

Want to see me tear up? Write a post like this.

I’ve been quiet lately. Busy. Consumed with nesting. This post brought me to tears. Even the term mother daughter relationship gives me the chills. As I said in the comments of Clara’s post, for what felt like a lot of years, my mother was, at once, my best friend and my worst enemy.

When I sit and think beyond how amazing having a “little girl” will be, I do allow myself to think about my pre-teen daughter…but only for a moment.

I could say a lot on this topic, but I’m tired.

via Seekingclarav

two weeks ago i learned the true meaning of the word ’senseless’

for the first time in my life i heard cries of agony.

on january 18th, my 14-year-old cousin took his own life.

my family is forever changed.

how are his parents, brother and sister are supposed to go on?

i don’t really have much more to say about the tragedy. but once a foundation in his name is up and running, i know i want to share it with you (and the world) and i wouldn’t want to be all, “by the way something tragic happened and i’m just telling you now.”

cherish your family. tell your children that they are beautiful each day. let them know that even when life is tough, it’s always worth living.

Today I left a comment on a fairly popular blog… a comment that was contrary to the opinions what the writer and most of her readership would believe (this is a general assumption). Paranoid that I was going to get hate mail, I started to read back at some of the things that I’ve written. Particularly about drinking and loss. I came across this post:

“Today, when writing to a friend about our struggles with trying to conceive, I thought about what that therapist said. Writing, “Perhaps we are the lucky ones after all.”

Reflecting on this has been what’s getting me through today. Hopefully I can hold onto this…this realization of just how amazing my relationship will be with our eventual baby. Not a single day, a messy-faced kiss or even a poopie diaper will be taken for granted. I imagine cuddly moments wherein I tell my little one how they were a long awaited dream come true.

I dreamt about being a mommy my whole life.  When I met Daddy we learned that we shared the very same dream. Then one day, our little dream came true. That dream was you”

I love this post. It wraps up my growth nicely. And I’d like to think I am sticking to my guns. Not a single ache or pain is taken for granted. I am so lucky to be carrying this child. I look forward to her cries just as much as I look forward to her smiles. Whether I have an uber painful natural labor or end up in hospital being cut open, my level of joy will remain the same. The word “suffer” will never be associated with the experience.

I cannot wait to be a mother – through good times and in bad.

***No more than 10 seconds after I hit publish, I saw my belly MOVE. The first visible kick, followed by another. TRUE STORY. I guess she liked my post.

Back in August my sister emailed me a link from Scary Mommy writing, “During parts of this, I could have sworn you wrote it.” I quickly clicked over and within minutes I knew I’d found my sister in pregnancy, loss, and childrearing:

“For a year and a half before my husband and I even started trying to get pregnant, I voraciously devoured any kind of information on pregnancy, birth, and parenting I could get my hands on. I watched documentaries, read countless blogs, books, talked to friends, interviewed a midwife…all in the name of finally getting knocked up.”

For me it was more like 5 years, but I’m a total nerd and Brittany has a social life, and no less than 4,000 friends.

“But then everything came crashing down. I got pregnant. And I lost the baby. And everything changed. All my dreams of that perfect life went out the window. I realized that so much of what I envisioned for myself was totally out of my control. During the short time I was pregnant, I did everything right, and things still didn’t go the way I’d planned.”

Yup.

I quickly commented and really hoped my soul sister would check me out too. Soon after, she did! I have kept in contact with Brittany of Lessons in Life and Light ever since. I emailed her when I found out I was pregnant….before most people IRL knew (of course, not before my actual sister…who was the first to know). In turn, when she found out she was pregnant just 4 weeks later, I received a delightful email. We’ve commiserated over being “a little pregnant” after a loss, and now that she’s OUT I cannot wait to share this journey with her. I can’t help but think that our babes will be little Internet buddies…their fates sealed via the web before they were even conceived.

So go check out her funny posts, lazy cat, and beautiful photography. Congrats Brittany & Brent!

image above taken by the talented Brittany.

During the week where everyone is talking about what they are thankful for (aka, to me anyway, gratefulosity), I have to take a moment to talk about my dogs. To some, it may seem silly, but I am so, so thankful for their cute faces, little personalities, and endless amounts love and affection. Of course, there are several moments a day when I want to put them on the front porch wearing a for sale sign, but those moments are never worth talking about. Besides, they’d bark and bark to come back in anyway.

The other day my aunt was praising me for rescuing Lucy. It’s true, Lucy is a rescue dog, but this term makes me feel silly. If it weren’t for us, another amazing family would have scooped her up. We’re not talking about a 8 year old pitbull with fleas. Anyway, I commented on the wall post “sometimes I feel like she saved me.”

It’s true. Many people who know me probably think I got Lucy to make up for Lemon. The truth is, I’ve wanted another dog since soon after we welcomed JJ into our lives. I think dogs need a dog pal. So, briefly, Lu did occupy my aching heart and idle hands. But now? She’s just snuggled up into our hearts and JJ (though he’ll never admit it) adores her. Late at night you’ll find them head-to-butt, sleeping together. Or, when he’s snoozing in his bed she’ll waltz on over and you can catch him making room for her.

Our days are far more entertaining because of them. And our hearts, fuller. While I can’t wait to meet our human baby in May, there’s another moment that I long for – the meeting of all three of my children. I just know it will be love at first sight for all of us.

it seems that throughout my pregnancy, they’ve never left my side

sunday morning on the couch. note Lucy watching TV.

via Gala Darling

this is a great way to thank your host or hostess!

via books, paper, scissors