Cheers to that!
6 Apr
It’s been a while since I’ve updated by alcoholic status. For a while, talk of it was absent because it was going surprisingly well. No, this didn’t leave me thinking that I wasn’t a problem drinker and sure, why not throw back a few? It has me thinking that I was a recovering alcoholic with superpowers. Then warm weather hit, outdoor dining began, and baseball season commenced. One would think that if I made it through all of those snowstorms without a big glass of red or heavy pint of ale, I could swing this. Wrong. Much like holidays (major fail in terms of my sobriety), warm weather brings with it a thousand and one reasons to drink. Boy do I want one. Not to ease the pain or the stress, or to kill the thoughts of inferiority, but just because.
What this has brought about is all that “why me?” bullshit that I went through in the beginning. Why do I have a problem? Why can’t I drink responsibly? I am stronger than most people – why can’t I be strong when it comes to controlling my alcohol consumption.
I know the answer to this. But fuck. shit. balls. I want to be pissed off right now.
later- i’m feeling better now after a nice meeting with an OT in training. she used me for a mock case study…seeing myself in those terms (all typed out and fancy) and her ideas for treatment made me feel silly about complaining. but i will leave this up here anyway.
Well you said it, we are having the same kind of day. Makes me feel better in a weird way. Hope tomorrow’s good.
I still drink but I’m starting to think seriously about my drinking (that’s how I found your blog). I really appreciate your postings.
Well that’s exactly why I keep on writing about it Nicole. Thank you.
good stuff, good job getting through it